Sunday, 4 March 2018

Life is a game and family is a team!

The ability to take your own decisions is freedom.

What about the times when that freedom affects others' wishes. When a member of the house just takes a decision without even considering the opinions of others in the family. That individual exercises his/her freedom but the other members to whom that decision affects feel powerless. Since they could not exercise their right to speech. What's it to cry over spilt milk/water? 


Life moves on. But again, someday this happens.

Since, they got away with it earlier they do it again. There are fights, clashes, resentments, all the family drama and yet again, life moves on. 

The bond grows weak but it doesn't matter since, family is family. Family stays amongst all crisis and yet again, this happens. 

Freedom of choice is a part of our democracy but what about circumstances when these choices affect other members. 

There are some decisions which go wrong and some right and family still sticks. Although, had it been a mutual decision the family would lovingly stick and not obligatory.

The least one person can do is give the respect to others by considering their opinion. They also have the right to expression. When a person is heard and not neglected, then even though the decision made is opposite, that feeling to be a part of the whole Process like a team, stays and the bond grows stronger.



A family is really a team of players. All the players have their role to play. Each player has it's strengths and weaknesses and we as a team can overcome the weaknesses and optimize the strengths. Yet, these simple rules of game aren't well applied in life and members are neglected with a rough team leader who doesn't even brother to take player's views into consideration and the whole team spirit declines. The overall mood and atmosphere of the play becomes gruesome and people just feel like leaving this team and joining some other.  The only difference is in reality one cannot or does not defy their own blood.

Maybe to become the better person or not to be the worse person. Maybe to just take life as it goes or maybe just concentrate on individual game. Players or family members keep playing, the choice is just to be the player. Some try to be the leader and try to lead the rest of the team with positive approach but well, there are still times when the main leader suddenly drops a bomb, a decision which again affects all and leaves everyone dissatisfied. Again, that other leader picks everyone up and keeps playing. 

Maybe, there is no end to this, until that leader retires. 

A new beginning. A new hope. You hope to learn from those mistakes and remove the scars of the old captain. Keeping the team spirit alive and supporting one another, and not give up.

Keep playing! Keep thinking!

Friday, 23 February 2018

Massacrenhas



Content is always important to me and without a right story which clicks, I wouldn't like a show/movie even if everything else works.

And after that how the story is presented comes in picture.

#Breathe on #AmazonPrime
What I loved about the show:

1. Background music and Track
Although, it reminded me of GoT due to the musical instruments used, the familiarity felt good. The music added that extra edge and keeps the mood and the feel of the show going.

2. Pace
The Pace of the show maintains the right balance of being fast enough and cut unnecessary scenes or dialogues and slow in places not to miss the nuances.

3. Narration of characters
All characters shown were presented with their back story and situation. This helps to understand what every character is going through and their mindsets.




What I hate about the show:

Only One:
Madhavan's beard- It perfectly added up to the character and maybe also helped in hating his character more.

Ofcourse, acting, story telling, ideas, dialogues, shots are very well done but I wouldn't go in knit picking since, I absolutely loved it and rated it 10.👌
I am sure there are things where each one of the team member wanted to do something better.

I am very happy after watching this show more, for the social message.

Please pledge for organ donation and even stem cell donation. I am a donor too.

Keep Thinking! Keep Donating!

Thursday, 11 January 2018

Blame Game

Man is a social animal and being that we as people form societies, live in a family, work together, progress together.

Humanity is about helping each other and growing together. Solving each other's problems by not just looking at a smaller picture but actually looking at the larger picture from a bigger point of view.

As so happens, we tend to forget that and look at the immediate action or react to the slightest of things without knowing the implications.

When it comes to work, the whole aim should be to deliver with good quality and maintaining transparency in the system, so that all individuals who are part of fulfilling the aim are satisfied and encouraged to go ahead.

Somehow that doesn't seem to work. We don't live in the perfect world. When things are expected to be perfect at other end then isn't it a taken that things are already perfect in the start.

Yet, without a proper system in place things are expected to go proper and if not the blame game starts.

Blame game.

2 words and it is so draining to be in it.

It's like passing the parcel.

No one wants to take ownership.

No one will acknowledge a mistake.

Acknowledgement should be the start of it. Here's where we went wrong and this will not happen and for that a proper process will be followed.

Systems are available, so many tools are available, freely in the market but they are not being utilised.

People don't want to accept the change.
They don't want to do a direct communication of a finding. They just want to save their own a**.

This monetary world is making us slaves and bad people without us realising. We are unnecessary troubling fellow humans and increasing everyone's stress levels.

In today's world, people aren't stressed because they have lot of work. They aren't stressed because they are incapable to do it.

The stress is due to unnecessary mental pressure which is due to this blame game.

'Raghukul reet sada chali ayi pran jaye par vachan na jaye'.
Words have no meaning unless they are written.

'Likh ke do'

And yes, because when the blame game starts, how to prove you are innocent?

Even in court, when even the judge can understand that who is innocent, a proof is needed to prove.
Because you are guilty unless proven innocent.
It isn't the other way round, where you are innocent until proven guilty. Even though, it is supposed to be.


Such is the world we live in. Is this really the right approach towards things?

Are we promoting a right attitude?

Is this how, we are going to progress? By blaming one another?

Why are we so afraid?

What is that will happen if things are transparent?

Things will be out in open and we can resolve them. Otherwise, it will just get messier and stressful for all of us.
Leaving us all unsatisfied, drained and miserable people who cannot look at their children in the eyes and teach them good things or look into the mirror and face this stranger who has forgotten being human, in this never ending race where no one knows where they are heading.

Keep thinking!


Monday, 13 November 2017

Heart and brain



Listen to your heart.

Do what's supposed to be done.

What do you really want?


Why should I message first?

How does it matter who messages in friendship?


Our mind fights within itself to decide upon such things of what we want and what we should do. What do we actually end up doing..?

Whether to go by what heart says or by the brain?


In most emotional relationships going by the heart works since we leave our ego aside and be ourselves.

But, in some circumstances, the heart is very selfish. It would empathise with the other person but still fail to accept and understand...

The brain tries to control it. Even tries to rationalize by reminding past experiences and lessons learnt. 

But, will we ever learn?

Actually, change?

Consider.

See someone else's point of view?


Heart v/s brain as we may call it or our mind versus our innermost desires. Who wins?

Who should win?

Whatever you choose, you have to face the consequences.

Either the wrath of hurting someone or the pain of your own aching heart.



What choice do you make?



Keep Thinking.




Monday, 9 October 2017

Gratitude

A feeling of 'Gratitude' 
The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.


When any other person, maybe a friend, a family member or an acquaintance does something kind, this feeling of Gratitude fills up our heart.



Living in times, where we need to be realists; when we have been betrayed, used or just looked upon as an opportunity to gain something. When somebody does a kind act, it overwhelms us. It may not be tangible.

 A kind word, keeping company, spending time or treating each other as family. 

Small gestures, few words, big heart and open arms.  <---^_^--->

As kids, we get all these things without even asking or craving for it. People are just waiting to make us smile and take us in their arms. We don't have to work for it or even earn it. Then, when we start growing up, we start taking these things for granted and don't value them as much. 

We have things to focus on. Have a goal in life. Work upon it.

We have to do so many things. Perform chores, be independent. 
We have to grow in our careers. We have to work on our talents. Yes, we have to be there for the family. Give them time. We do all these things.

Some things we do for others too. Help them.

Do we really do it for them?

We are selfish beings and there is no such thing as being selfless because, every act we do, even though, for others, is a selfish act, as it gives us some kind of happiness.

We are honest and good individuals not just for society but also because we have to live with ourselves. 

We make ourselves believe that we are doing a favor for somebody or helping them by being there but, that's not really the case.

It is our desire or wish too. 

We want to be there. 

We expect the same from them, too.

We expect. We get rejected at times, due to priorities and we get hurt. We understand. We empathize. We may fight, too. We may feel let down.

We stop expecting.

We grow.

We become strong to these situations.

We don't change ourselves or our behavior towards our people but we accept the fact that their priorities and attitudes are different. 

We accept that they may not want the same things as us and we find some median if possible, in some cases and let it go, for others.

As we become realists, still believing in the good and kind, somewhere.

We try to be kind as much possible to try to make a difference, even if it's little. So, that our faith stays in this ruthless competitive race everyone seems to be on.


Then, there is this moment. When someone else does a kind gesture.

It can be as small as someone pulling a door for you, when your hands are full or someone lending a ear to your rants. Someone, genuinely inquiring 'How have you been?' or someone, lending you a book you wanted to read. Some praising you behind your backs, or some planning a trip or party for you. Someone, appreciating to your efforts or someone criticizing you without making you defensive. Someone, letting you use something they gave you for a little while more or someone,trying to encourage your talent. Someone, consoling you when you are down or someone, giving a pat on the back when well deserved. Someone, accompanying you for a movie you wanted to watch or someone, helping you search something like a job, house, phone, car, accessory or a dress you want.

So many things, our people keep doing for us, every day.

They encourage us, feel proud about us, love us. Most of all, they treat us as family.

They give us the most important thing they have.



Time.

We feel humbled by the people we have in life.

They are family. And, even if we have so many, we want all. 

It hurts us, to purposefully leave or not talk to someone due to any reason.

Since, it takes two, we move on.

And, every time someone does a kind gesture, we are thankful.

Thankful for keeping our hopes up.

Thankful for their kindness.

Yet, we do not express it. We know, we should. But, we don't.




When we do,




we feel blessed.

We feel peace.


Keep Thinking!




Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Reservations in Maharashtra,India and Maratha Kranti Morcha

India is probably the only country in the world to have "Caste-based" reservation which started in the British era before India gained Independence and still exists.


What has been the Impact of reservations in India? Has it been of any use?

One 2010 study of 16 of India’s biggest states did look at the effect on poverty in backward groups of their getting quotas of representatives, from 1960 to 2000. The report’s authors, Aimee Chin and Nishith Prakash, say theirs is the only study ever to ask how an affirmative -action policy, of any sort, has affected poverty in India. 

Their conclusion: for “scheduled tribes”, who are conveniently crowded near one another on electoral maps, greater political clout has indeed led to a small drop in poverty. 

But for the “scheduled castes”, by contrast, it has made absolutely no difference at all.



The various quotas have partly achieved their most basic tasks. In public jobs members of backward groups claim more posts than of old. Dalits had just 1.6% of the most senior (“Group A”) civil servant positions in 1965, for example. That rose to 11.5% by 2011, not far off the 16% or so of the general population that Dalits represent. The share is higher for more junior posts.


Judging a broader impact is harder. Very few Indians have formal jobs, let alone government ones. “The [jobs] policy only matters for perhaps 2% of the Indian work force”, points out Harsh Shrivastava of the World Development Forum, a think-tank in Delhi. 

Other than in tweaking quotas (to reflect the local size of a “scheduled” population) states have never experimented, nor competed, to find out whether their jobs policies have any wider, beneficial impact.


Worse, the policy has probably helped to make India’s bureaucracy increasingly rotten—and it was already one of the country’s greater burdens. An obsession with making the ranks of public servants representative, not capable, makes it too hard to sack dysfunctional or corrupt bureaucrats. In December 2012 parliament’s upper house passed a bill ordering that bureaucrats be promoted not on merit alone, but to lift the backward castes faster.


MARATHA KRANTI MARCH
Demands
1.      Punishment to culprits in Kopardi rape and murder case.
2.      Reservation in education and government jobs.
With this request, the vested interests of the political parties backing this protest has been exposed.
3.      Implement recommendations of National Commission on Farmers chaired by Prof. M. S. Swaminathan.
4.      Amendment in Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe (Prevention of Atrocities) Act, 1989 to stop its misuse.
Other demands include loan waiver schemes for Maratha farmers.



Appreciation


The police are appreciating these silent marches for its discipline and cleanness. Millions of Maratha joined this movement silently. This is one of the World's Largest Peaceful Protest March. This protest brought together Maratha Community. Till date in various regions across Maharashtra, India almost 20 to 30 Million people have actively participated in this march at different location



Justice Sawant, former chairman

Justice Sawant stepped down from the post of chairman of a committee formed by the morcha. This had followed a representation circulated by the morcha's leaders to MLAs, MPs and other political heavyweights, claiming that the Justice Sawant committee had suggested a repeal of the Atrocities Act, as well as pressing for 16 per cent reservation for Marathas. Justice Sawant, who was at the forefront of designing a strategy to deal with the issues faced by the community, looks pained when any reference to the committee crops up. Saying that he had not even attended any of the committee's meetings, he asks how the morcha's leaders could have named him as the architect of this point of view. "The representation purported to suggest that [the demand to repeal the Atrocities Act and the 16 per cent reservation] was the decision of the committee. I, therefore, found myself in a quandary. These views-which were not mine-were being presented as mine, since I was 'chairman' of the committee. I felt that the situation would lead to untoward consequences, apart from the misrepresentation of my views. Therefore, I took the step of freeing myself from the responsibilities," he says.


Justice Sawant insists that the committee was formed without his knowledge, when active leaders of the morcha met in Aurangabad in September. "They included my name as chairman of the committee. I was not consulted. I understand some of the other members of the committee were also not consulted. I learnt about it through the press. However, in order to avoid misunderstandings and to honour the sentiments of the people, I did not protest against my inclusion."


According to him, the Atrocities Act needs only an amendment to Section 9, which gives police officers the authority to immediately arrest a person against whom an FIR has been filed under this act. A method of fixing this, he says, is to amend the act so that police officers are required to take permission from a local magistrate before making an arrest. He also believes that getting reservations for Marathas in educational institutes and government jobs will first require several legal formalities to be taken care of .

On November 27, Justice Sawant had held a rally in Pune, aimed at persuading the youth to look beyond the idea of reservations. "Even if [the Marathas] get their reservations, only a very, very small proportion of the community will benefit. The vast majority will remain deprived."


After continuous growing protest in each city and millions of peoples participation in each Maratha Kranti Morcha, on 13 October 2016 the Government of Maharashtra took decision and


Increased the upper limit of the Economically Backward Class (EBC) to Rupee 600,000 (Rupee 0.6 Million) and announced extension of monetary benefits under this category to students from all castes. 

The students from the EBC category studying in all professional courses will be eligible for the benefits such as fee reimbursement under the Rajshri Shahu Maharaj Scheme, which was named after the Maratha king Rajshri Shahu of Kolhapur who introduced reservation policy for the first time in his kingdom Kolhapur State.

Announced schemes for children of small land holding farmers under the Panjabrao Deshmukh Scheme. The children of farmers with small land holding (2.5 Hectare for non-irrigated and 2 Hectare for irrigated) will be given financial assistance to pay housing rents in different cities. The upper limit for metros will be Rs. 30,000 a year, while that for smaller cities, it will be Rs. 20,000 a year.


In June 2017, a 100% waiver scheme for farmers has been announced in Maharashtra.


Should Reservations really be part of our system?

Since,the existing reservations have not made any major impact as per the studies.


Although, we appreciate the non violent nature of the marches which may turn into a violent one (Chakka Jam) if the demands are not met and of course, that will only impact more innocents. It maybe the bureaucracy or some hidden agendas and conspiracy. It could be the grudges of Marathas for the Dalits or vice versa. Just for the benefit of doubt, could they be a reverse psychology to abolish reservations all together?


We wonder when will the caste system be eradicated and we treat each other as Individuals.

We would be happier if the marches were by Maharashtrians than just the Marathas.


The candle march held for Nirbhaya was not a caste based one. All Indians demanded Justice.


The Dalits of the village wanted to take part in the protest since they also felt the same which would probably have made the protest even stronger but they were denied.



So, are these marches really aiming at justice for the rape victim? or is this another attempt of "Divide and Rule" or  in Little Finger's words, "Chaos is a ladder."

Keep Thinking!



References:

1.        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reservation_in_India
2.        http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/maratha-agitation-maharashtra-kranti-morcha/1/855493.html
3.        http://www.deccanchronicle.com/business/economy/250617/maharashtra-unveils-rs-34000-cr-loan-waiver-89-lakh-farmers-to-benefit.html
4.         https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maratha_Kranti_Morcha
5.        https://www.economist.com/blogs/banyan/2013/06/affirmative-action
6.        http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/india-rape-murder-teenager-silent-protests-maharasthra-demonstration-inequality-a7346771.html
7.        http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-37538115
8.        http://www.hindustantimes.com/mumbai-news/three-theories-behind-the-maratha-silent-protests/story-Mr8piR7gypI7AWAH4lgHgO.html
9.        http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2016/04/16/nana-patekar-farmers-suicide_n_9698856.html

10.     http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/maharashtra-government-raises-ebc-limit-to-rs-6-lakh-with-a-rider/articleshow/54840497.cms

Sunday, 2 July 2017

Believe in Love

Of late, things are starting to seem too superficial. Relationships, love, marriage these words sound more of a narrative. Being practical and realist is the demand of this new world. Stop living in the fairytale they say. You never know what life may turn into. So, stop imagining and expecting a beautiful life or a partner they say. This does not really promise happiness but atleast you save yourself the heartache later.


Let us be Stubborn. We cannot stop believing in Love. Believing in the most wonderful of states that can ever exist and actually be felt by a human. Making you feel so human.

Love.



Yeah.. there are people who seem promising at the beginning who turn out to be jerks later and there are some with whom it just doesn't seem to workout. There are others who may not be as interested and there are those who can be just your friends.

Even after those heartbreaks. Even after the excruciating pain love can bring. Even after those awful times. We cannot stop believing in love. Love will always remain beautiful. One of the most beautiful feelings to have for someone. To be loved and to get love in return, not many people get to experience that.


And after experiencing it, how beautiful it is, we cannot just let that feeling go.

We want to have it again.  And not just the innocent teenager love but the mature one which just grows in time.

The one that makes you feel alive and to be thankful for each day.

The one that makes you feel lucky to have him/her by your side.

If true love had been vanished, why would they be making movies about it yet. Why would people still go out and pay for the same boy meets girl, girl meets boy and they fall in love thing again.

If there wasn't real love, wouldn't the world be collapsing already? Haha, that's exaggerating.

But, there are real couples who are lucky and also mature enough to handle each other. To accept each other and care for each other.

There are people who truly not only believe in it but also abide by it their whole lives. They make sacrifices small or big ones, just for their loved ones.

Be a cynic. Be a realist. Or be a romantic. It's your choice.

Don't stop believing in love. It's one of the most powerful and liberating feelings felt. Pain and sadness do come along. It's just how we learn to deal with it.

Believe in Love.

Keep loving. Keep believing. Keep thinking.


Monday, 19 June 2017

You are the introvert who wants to stay alone.

You are the introvert who wants to stay alone. I am the extrovert who wouldn't want to let you go. It's ok if we do not speak any words. It's ok if you do not share, for now.

Will it be ok, if I hugged you? If I could just sniff you. Your smell.
If I could feel that warmth.

I do not know how to leave you alone. I do not understand.
As an extrovert, I wouldn't want to be abandoned.

Those rules don't apply to you. I know.

To be with yourself, with something you have been going through. You want to be alone in your own company, doesn't mean you are lonely. You do not need me.

You may come along after contemplating. And even share those things that bothered you. Your insights.

For now, you want that space.

I am sorry. Would it be ok, if we hugged and not speak a word?

You could contemplate in my arms.

That is too much to be asking for at this moment.

It pains me to let you go and just be, even if it is the right thing.

Why do I always be selfish and not think about you?

Cause your solace is in not having a talk.

I wish it was as easy for you as it is for me.

I make it tougher cause of the hurt I feel.

Why is it tough to give you that peace?

Why do I bother you and make you a beast?

Is it my concern, care or love? Whatever it is, it's useless as it hurts. Either ways one of us is hurt. Then, why isn't it me but I choose to hurt you instead?

What do I say more, could I get a hug?


Sunday, 23 April 2017

When do we wake up?

Azaan controversy of Sonu Nigam attracted a lot of criticism from people about how he should have been more considerate while speaking his point; about how he sounded rude, how it was a religious attack.

He was annoyed of waking up early due to the loud sound.

Some people blame the government for everything. They want a bill for defining the decibels.

My question is,

Why can't we be responsible ourselves and stop polluting the environment in any form? Why do we need a rule to tame us from doing something wrong? I mean even if it is legal/illegal, we know it's bothersome. The recent event of a spiritual leader spoilt our rivers for decades. The blame was put on the officials who passed the order to carry out the event. But, in any social events we organize, isn't it our responsibility to make sure, anybody/environment is not harmed in any way? On new year event in Bengaluru, wasn't it the responsibility of the people who were part of the event, to stop girls being molested instead of waiting for police to do their jobs?



Why do we turn a blind eye towards our ethical responsibility? We do not empathize the sick, the poor or the weak. We do not care about the trees, the birds, the beauty. Why ?

We are humans. We are blessed with a brain which can create miracles and if used properly, we can live in harmony without harming the environment. But, we never think about anyone else. We do not think about the impact of our actions. The effect that it creates. Take an instance, of the loud horns of certain vehicles. There have been instances where you feel defeaning if a horn is honked. But, unless he/she is legally obliged to follow any rule regarding the decibels of horns, unless generating a fear of getting jailed/fined for the act, he/she will never learn. We are so unapologetic and selfish about everything that we need the legal systems to make us realize that somethings are wrong and unacceptable.

Do we ever need to teach people like dhoni/sachin/rahul dravid to play a fair play or not to do something which can ever be bothersome to others? No. They are intelligent and responsible citizens who probably take more care about the people and environment around them. Why don't we idealize people like that? Why don't we see the good and be influenced by it instead of just blindly following, even copying, what we find cool?

When are we going to start thinking about the implications we have as a human and prove that that's makes us human; rather than saying mistakes make us human.


Why?

When do wake up in the actual sense and think about our actions?

Keep thinking.


Saturday, 22 April 2017

What's a Half Girlfriend?

More and more relationships these days have "it's complicated" status. These complexities can be many: one sided love, not so sure, lack of trust, lack of commitment and yes, the friendzoned ones.


These relationships have strong friendships. And when it's between a boy and a girl; Strong friendships sometimes, become more. 

We are friends for a longtime and we know, understand each other very well. We are comfortable with each other. So much so, that we share the deepest secrets and experiences and aren't ashamed of being judged.

The bond is strong and there is respect; we know we won't hurt the other person by saying anything mean.

The basic foundation of a romantic relationship is in place, which is, according to me: trust, respect, love, conversation. 


Also, in some friendships, at some point in time, he/she may confess having a crush on the other. So, the one who has a crush, is generally very sweet and gives the compliments and what we call "bhaav" in our desi way!


Then, the relationship becomes little flirty and sweet. Some relationships also have "friends with benefits" tag, which leads to more closeness, because the trust factor is too strong.

But, more than physical attraction, half girlfriend is the one, whom he loves and probably, she loves him too, you know, in a way you can't define.

There's​ a point in a friendship between a guy and a girl when they feel more than just friends. 

It's​ because you may have some enjoyable conversations, the hugs and the xoxo, the way you feel when you talk to the person and the responses you get, attraction, caring and such.


Basically, you feel there's something more to it than plain friendship. But then, it's up to the both of you, how you take it forward. It could turn into a relationship or it may just stay at that point.

When the boyfriend/girlfriend tag comes, we fear of the fights and fulfilling expectations.

At this stage, we get the best of both worlds i.e. friendship and no unnecessary expectations.
That's why, probably, we may have that comfort in a relationship called "Half Girlfriend". 

Neither of them is compelled to do things.
But, both of them, do sweet gestures and help each other when in need.



All relationships need not culminate with marriage or an affair. Some relationships are special in their own way!

Keep thinking!

Do let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend